The 5 Reactions to Death:
Denial: One common possible reaction to any news of death is denial. One goes into complete state of denial that this cannot happen to them. Denial creates state of shock. It does not allow us to accept the reality and does not allow us to be with the truth as it is. Denial only makes us weaker and prolongs the misery.
Anger: We get angry at ourselves at times, thinking that we could have done certain things differently to prevent the death or get angry at God, or get angry at the person who you think may be responsible for the death or it could be the very cause of death. Nothing could have saved the person if it was time for them to go. These are higher truths, higher realities. Causes of karma that we can never understand as their nature is unfathomable.
Bargaining: I should have spent more time with them! I should have done this or that for them! We enter into a mode which tells you that you haven’t done enough for them and you blame yourself. There is nothing that you could have done to postpone this death. Death is inevitable to human life no matter how close they are or how far they are, it is one truth we have to face for everybody including ourselves. So we need to stop bargaining. If somebody has passed away- they have passed away. This is how it was meant to be and what you did for them is all you had to do for them.
Passive acceptance The fourth reaction is passive acceptance. In a way they become silent, aloof and dont want to talk to anybody. Such acceptance is also not healthy.
Depression: The fifth reaction is depression. Depression is the most common thing that happens to people who lose their dear ones. Depression makes you think that there is nobody else to take care of you. You feel that you cannot cope with the work that the person has left behind for you to handle and worry about how you are going to manage everything yourself and how you are going to surface out of the loneliness. How are you going to be able to live alone without having the physical presence of this person who has been with you all your life. Now think about it- deppression is only about thinking” what about me?” When you think a lot about what is going to happen to you, it only makes you suffer. When you were born you even did not know your mother. Somebody taught you how to walk.There was always somebody guiding you to grow in life.
Throughout our lives so many people have come and have gone. So many people have made their ways into our lives and so many have disappeared. Yet we have managed to exist and we have managed to move on. Death also has to be percieved in the same way. It is a phenomenon that has to occur to recycle and renew the conciousness to different times and spaces, so that the consciousness can continue growing and evolving towards the higher truth, towards merging into infinity, enlightenment, moksha or whatever you may call it. The best way to see death is to know that the purpose of death is only to push the conciousness to a higher evolution. Let it come. We have died a thousand deaths before we have been on this planet at this time. We will die several more times maybe, but the point is while you are alive , have you lived a life of fulfillment?
“dehi nityam avadhyo-ayam, dehe sarvasy bharat, tasmat sarvani bhutani, na tvam shochitum-arhasi” (Bhagwat Gita: Chapter II verse 30)
“Sri Krishna said: O descendant of Bharata, this soul residing in the bodies of all can never be slain. Therefore you should not grieve for any living being.”