Marriage is an institution of patience, sacrifice, caring for each other and sharing. Our forefathers spoke about Saptapadi — the seven steps one takes in life and a sense of commitment, co-operation, compassion, caring and less ego.
The relationship in marriage can take form either as strength or as a weakness depending on the mind. If the mind is strong then relationships can be like a gift to us, but if the mind is weak and not in control, then relationships can feel like bondage. If you hold each other’s necks, it will feel like bondage. If you walk together, shoulder-to-shoulder with each other, it will feel like a support. So be a companion to each other and move forward.
In marriage, you should consider the other person as your own part, like your arm, like your body. It’s two bodies, one mind, one soul. So, whatever your spouse desires, you make it your own desire. Your spouse’s taste, consider it as your own taste. When does the conflict arise? It happens when your tastes start moving apart.
You should start saying “your taste is my taste; your pleasure is my pleasure. I am here for you”, rather than, “What can you do for me?” When we say “What can you do for me?” then both become unhappy. Happy marriages are based on “I’m here for you, come what may, happy times or unhappy times! In life, sometimes there are disappointments, sometimes there is success. In either case, I’m with you.”
As time passes in a relationship, a couple witnesses that expectations and attitudes change. The relationship can become better with more yoga and meditation practice. We can learn how to communicate better in the relationship, to be more patient and forgiving.
Again and again, the cycle rotates from rosy and glorious bliss to momentary shakiness. There may be confusion when little earthquakes shake. Commitment is what holds it together, when you decide not to fall apart. Spirituality is what gives the strength to see it through.