What obstructs meditation?
It is desire and planning – It is your desire, your plans: “I want to do this….I want to do this….I want to do this.” – However, what happens is, you can’t quieten your mind! You are sitting in meditation – you are meditating – but, what is happening? Your desires keep bugging you…… Your planning mind is busy planning…..and all the plans will only “happen”, when you sit for meditation! Yet, at the end, you will say, “I have meditated nicely…I have done my programme…” What programme have you done? Where did you do the programme?! Your mind is sitting there with your plans! Do you see that? You are planning with your eyes closed – you are dreaming with your eyes closed – Isn’t it?
And we think, “Oh! We have meditated for so many years!” – That is no meditation! Your “plan” is a hindrance to meditation. So, how can you drop your planning? One way to drop your planning is to expand your desire! After expanding your desire, “offer” it: “Okay! I offer this….Let it be done..” But the moment, you “offer” it, it becomes, “If it’s right, it will be done for me,” and that is called trust. It will happens! Just think it will happen….and you relax. Do you see, what I mean? This is called surrender. Surrender means the ability to drop a desire, or botheration, or something that keeps bugging us in the mind. “Okay, I’ll drop it.” – That is surrender. “If it is right for me, it will be done.” Finished, only then your mind, is able to experience hollowness – that state of awareness.
Sometimes, when all your desires are fulfilled, or when that one desire that you were tied in the mind, “sinks”, then you say, “Oh! I had a wonderful meditation today!” This is because that day, you had the ability to drop your desires and plans……and relax. Hasn’t this happened to everyone?
In the Bhagwad Gita, it is said, “How can you attain yoga, when you have not dropped sankalpas (i.e. desires, intentions and plans)? How can one smile? The first thing to do is to expand desire. The second thing is to see the uselessness of the fulfillment of the desire, and the third, is to see that, if it’s fulfilled – so what? You are left, where you were. Nothing big has happened. It has not done anything. It has not touched you.
You know, if you drive through villages, or small towns, you will see stray dogs on the roads, and since cars aren’t seen in these parts much, do you know what happens, when you drive your car in any of these places. The stray dog in the street will run with the car because till then, it had been fastest running animal in that village or town! But now, there’s this car that “running” and the dog thinks, “What is this thing that is running?” So, the dog overtakes the car…and after overtaking the car, it look very stupid, because it doesn’t know what to do next? It put its hundred percent into overtaking the car – and then it doesn’t know what to do! It barks all the way, overtakes the car and then just stands there, looking stupid! It’s a sight to see! Have you not noticed this ever? We get desires fulfilled – so what? Then what? We achieve desires…to look stupid!
All your life, you try to become famous actor: “I want to become a famous actor…” Once you become famous, are you happy? No! You are more miserable! I am not saying that one should not have desires, or that all desires are stupid. I’m saying that thinking the fulfillment of desires will bring you something, or take you somewhere, is an illusion. Do you get what I mean? Have desire – and let it be fulfilled, but don’t anchor your life in it. It will prove to be as illusion. It’s very delicate, fine balance. But, what do we do? We either have a pessimistic attitude or a feverish one!
In the first case, we say, “You should never desire at all!” This is being pessimistic in life: “Oh! What is life! I am going to die, anyway…..so let’s eat, whatever I have to eat, let’s eat whatever I have to fill my stomach!” In the second case we say, “Oh! I want this thing to be fulfilled! Oh! I want that thing to happen! Oh! I want so many millions!” Your whole mind is full of millions and millions –
your whole mind is full of feverishness – feverishness of desire.So when a desire arises, find a balance. Do you get this? I tell you, those, who take it easy, when it comes to desire, are not lazy – they are being active about it! Whether you are feverish about something, or pessimistic about it, life will not “move it”. So be on the golden middle path!